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77. Horrors from Seventeen Magazines from 1982

I only have a few Seventeen issues from 1982, from the big collection I got from the thrift store that I brought up earlier

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There are two categories I want to put these pages in:

What?

Exactly what age is their target demographic

Who has time for that?

What?

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(September 1982)

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(September, 1982)

What’s up with those giant makeup applicators (#5)? Were you supposed to throw them at your face, theatrically like giant powder puffs? :

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(September, 1982)

When I was reading 'Teen and Seventeen in the mid 90s, I never saw ads for diets for teens, instead, there were always articles about the dangers of eating disorders.  I didn’t see any of those articles in the 1982 issues, just this diet ad.


//edit, March 22//

I just finished flipping through the September, 1984 issue, and this ad was still running.

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(September 1982)

Tampons and gold…they go together like wood and soup. 2


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(May 1982)

This is the most stick up your butt party I’ve ever seen. 

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(November, 1982)
I know it was the early 1980s, but … Chevy Chase being a teenage girls heartthrob? 


Exactly what age was their target demographic?

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(September 1982)

I can’t believe that Seventeen was still publishing a wedding guide in 1982. For the discerning woman who gets engaged right out of high school.

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(May, 1982)

My, how much we’ve advanced.

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(September, 1982)

You can pick our your silverware pattern while also picking our your homecoming dress.

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(May 1982)

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(September 1982)

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(October 1982)

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October, 1982

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(November, 1982)

When I was reading Seventeen in the mid 1990s, I don’t remember seeing any underwear ads. Also, what’s the deal with matronly ads being in teenage girl magazine ads, as seen in this JCPenney ad:

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(December, 1982)

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(December 1982)

Along with ads for engagement rings, lingerie, and an a on how to cook a pork roast, there was also an ad for a Ziggy Christmas special? I guess for all the little sisters out there who sneaky read their older sister’s Seventeen magazines. 

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(September, 1982)

This was on the back cover. Can’t see that flying today in a teen magazine.


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(November 1982) 

Hi, mom. 

Who has time for that?

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(May, 1982)

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(October, 1982)

I guess in the early 1980s, our private parts were not bothered by colored toilet paper, and we could waste toilet paper higgely piggedly.

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(September 1982)

I highly doubt that even in 1982, relatives had the time to do a “how are you doing?” questionnaire. 

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(December 1982)

Who has two toothpaste caps sitting around?

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