Sale into the 90s--a 1980s/1990s history Tumblr

A tumblr about 1980s and 1990s history, and I use the term "history" very loosely.

The 1980s | The 1990s

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139. Marge Simpsons’ shoe size (1990)

I’m sitting here watching the Every Simpsons Marathon on the FXX channel, and the first season episode where Marge gets bowling lessons from Jacque is on. 

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Remember the scene where Marge is offended that the man at the bowling alley asks her for her shoe size? It was because Marge wore a size 13AAA shoe! I completely forgot about this, and I’ve seen this episode at least once a year for 24 years. 

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Thirteen double A!!! The closest I've got is a nine and a fifteen.

139. TV Guide, February 9-15, 1985 

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I’ve mentioned before that I have an obsession with Night Court. I was also obsessed with TV Guide when I was a toddler. My mom remembers me trying to hoard all the TV Guides, and putting them in the living room side table when I was three. I also have a memory of smearing my sticky lollypop hands all over a TV Guide with Tubbs & Crockett from Miami Vice on it. As I grew up, I still read TV Guide when I’d come home from school the day it came in the mail. The first thing I always did was peel off the address sticker, and roll that glue around with my fingers. Then I would read all the articles, and find out what Simpsons was going to be about next week. Sometimes mom would point out if a cartoon special was coming on one night — after all, that’s how we were introduced to Simpsons in December of 1989. 

Right, Right, Night Court. Loved watching it a s a child, even if I didn’t remember plot points, obsessed with it as an adult now that Encore shows it every day. I record every episode on my DVR, and right now I’m right when Christine found out she was pregnant by her undercover cop boyfriend who she married in an Italian restaurant. You know who married them? Uncle Phil from Fresh Prince. 

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(That week’s episode was “Billie’s Valentine”)

This TV Guide is from the second season of Night Court, when Ellen Foley joined the cast, playing Billie the Defense Attorney. Ellen replaced Paula Kelly, who I adored in the first season. My favorite Billie episode from season two is “The Birthday Visitor" when Billie and Harry were held hostage in her apartment by a neurotic robber. There were so many hot scenes of sexual tension between Harry and Billie. ooo

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Okay, secret time unpopular opinion, I like Liz and Billie more than Markie Post’s Christine Sullivan. GASP, I know. I think Liz and Billie’s characters were supposed to be experienced, always looking for a way to move up, but Christine was portrayed as a beginner, like Judge Stone’s courtroom was the second law job she ever had after law school. I think that was clear in her first episode, when she played a temp right at the beginning of season 2, before Billie started. 

TV Guide, February 9-15, 1985

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The article describes Harry Anderson’s beginnings, and the antics on the Night Court Set. He helped Ellen with her driver’s test! 

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There’s a short blurb about John Larroquette too, and how the great episode “Dan’s Parents" was inspired by John’s life in New Orleans. In the episode, Dan’s yokel parents from Armpit Swamp, USA, came to NYC to see him, and embarrassed the hell out of Dan. How on earth did they get up to New York? Was it their first plane ride? Did they take the covered wagon and tie up the horses outside of the court building? These people were Grapes of Wrath boonie people. 

There was also a few interesting things in this TV Guide:

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138. Robin Williams’ arms in “Hook” (1991)

I read somewhere years ago that Robin had to either get his arms waxed or shaved before filming HookI don’t even know the source, but I think it because he didn’t look like Peter Pan with that jungle on his arms. 

Related: 

Robin defuzzed back in January

Robin Williams Syndrome" (Urban Dictionary)

Popeye Is the Best Movie Robin Williams Ever Made (Vanity Fair) - For years I would watch Popeye every time it was on TV. 

137. “Young models ready for show” (August 10, 1992)

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Peterson, Craig. “Young Models Ready for Show.” The Press-Courier, August 10, 1992.

136. BURGESS v. CLAIROL, INC. (1986, 1991)

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(I don’t know if this is the Foot Fixer model in question. This is a photo I found online of “internet celebrity” Kailyn Wilcher using a Foot Fixer model.)

Who knew something that most people buy as a thoughtless Christmas Present on December 23rd could make a man lose his legs? 

In 1986, George Burgess purchased a Clairol Foot Fixer, an electronic foot bath massager. Naturally, he put his feet in the warm water for about 30 minutes. Oh, George was also a diabetic with poor foot circulation. I’m pre-diabetic, I’m scared to put my feet in any danger, like too tight shoes, or hot showers, because I’m afraid of losing my feet. That’s what happened to George, his feet blistered, and the blood vessels in his toes were burnt to such a degree that there was no hope in saving them. Eventually, George had his legs amputated from the knees down. 

A lawsuit ensued, with Burgess stating that the Foot Fixer heated water to 105 degrees, (which could maim people with poor circulation) instead of the proper 95 degrees, and that Clairol did not put warnings on the box or the instructions.  However, in 1991, George died. The lawsuit was amended to a wrongful death lawsuit—from the research I did, I never found a cause of George’s death though. Due to his death, with the lawsuit being amended to George’s estate as the plaintiff, the claim was put an end to. When he died, so did the lawsuit: 

Punitive damages are not available under Illinois’ Wrongful Death Act, nor does a punitive damage claim pass to the decedent’s estate under Illinois’ Survival Act, the U.S . District Court for the Northern District of Illinois recently held (George Burgess and
Cynthia Burgess v. Clairol Inc. . No. 87 C 8918, N.D. Ill.)

Sources:

1. “BURGESS v. CLAIROL, INC. | Leagle.com.” BURGESS v. CLAIROL, INC. | Leagle.com. http://www.leagle.com/decision/19912054776FSupp1278_11890.xml/BURGESS%20v.%20CLAIROL,%20INC. (accessed August 3, 2014).

2. Mealey’s Litigation Reports 6: 5-7. http://legacy.library.ucsf.edu/documentStore/u/r/g/urg22f00/Surg22f00.pdf (accessed August 3, 2014)

135. Lucky Vanous

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Oh man, did I find this Diet Coke commercial intolerable growing up. I think my mom even complained to me once about how dumb she thought those women in the commercial were. 

Lucky the Diet Coke Guy shirtless skeeved me out so much. Guys without their shirts on grossed me out when I was a kid. I’m sorry. I look at pictures of him now that I’m an adult, and I realize he’s alright looking. Eleven year old me however was like, “Ew gross!! Stop it!!” 

Lucky was everywhere for a brief time in 1994. 

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See. Everywhere. 

//edit//

I forgot that The Critic parodied Lucky too. ”Time for Marty to drink his Diet Coke!” 

134. Korean Airlines Flight 007 (September 1, 1983)

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I don’t even know if I should put this here. I feel like I should share though, because of what happened yesterday. 

I wrote this when I was at Mary Baldwin back in 2009, when I took a history of Russia class. The research I used was mostly the New York Times microfilms the library supplied. I wish I could find the actual paper I turned in with my professor’s remarks on it, but its trapped in a box, in my hallway closet right now. 

Do you ever feel like most of your life is trapped in plastic boxes at the bottom of your closet? I do. 

(Sorry for the formatting looking a little wonky, its pasted from Microsoft Word.)

“Red bear, back to the zoo!”
April 7, 2009

Airline travel was handed to the masses in 1978 with the passing of the Airline Deregulation Act. This act took the airlines and their procedures out of the government’s hands, and into the actual airlines. Airfares were suddenly cheaper due to airlines competing for customers, and airliners were finally able to fly to more destinations, hence more people took to the air across America and to foreign lands that they only dreamed of.[1]  On September 1, 1983 269 people, including 30 Americans boarded Korean Airlines Flight 007 [KAL 007] in New York City, on a flight headed for Seoul, Korea.[2] The passengers on the fully booked plane were heading to Korea for many unique reasons, there were people visiting family in Korea, a woman who had lost her husband a few months prior who was visiting her parents, a Julliard student wanting to broaden her studies, family vacations, taking care of sick family members, funerals, a United States Congressman observing the US-Korea Mutual Defense Treaty, and the search for a wife.[3] The plane stopped in Anchorage, Alaska for refueling before taking off for its final destination.[4]

    

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133. Balloonfest 1986

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So, I read about the failure of Dashcon this weekend.  It was supposed to be a convention “for tumblr uses, by tumblr users”. Instead, it was just some unexperienced people not paying convention panelists, so they didn’t show up. Instead of panels, there was just a ballpit, and a gameroom with one computer. 

The failure got me thinking, what large failure do I have sitting around in my research? Oh, I know! Balloons. 1.5 million of them. 

In 1986, the United Way of Cleveland, Ohio thought it would be amazing to set off a million or so ballons downtown. They thought everybody would go “ooh pretty”, and people did … at first.1

imageDoesn’t the balloons look like an explosion of Fruity Pebbles? 

The night before, a bad thunderstom hit the downtown area, and the net that held down the balloons was slightly damaged. 2 The show went on the next morning, even if it was dreary outside. Thousands of volunteers filled up millions of baloons, and sent them up into the net. At 1:50 that afternoon the net was lifted and the balloons went up in the heavens. 

For a little bit.

Then a cold front and some rain came and the balloons came wubbling back down to the ground.The balloons clogged the riverways, and hampered a Coast Guard rescue of two missing boaters. The two boaters died. Understandably, there was a lawsuit filed against the United Way. Another lawsuit was filed by a woman who owned a horse that was spooked permanently due to the balloons landing in his pasture.The balloons also caused enviornmental havoc, even washing up on Canadian shores. 4

So, here’s a tip. Don’t ever launch a million balloons. 

1. "1.5 Million Balloons Unleashed Total Chaos On Cleveland In 1986." Bored Panda RSS. http://www.boredpanda.com/balloonfest-86-united-way-cleveland-balloon-disaster/ (accessed July 14, 2014).

2. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_3UoEmKLsgs

3. Livingston, Tom. “Video Vault: Cleveland’s 1986 Balloonfest, the world record that went bust.” newsnet5. http://www.newsnet5.com/news/news-archives/video-vault-clevelands-1986-balloonfest-the-world-record-that-went-bust (accessed July 14, 2014).

4. Kroll, John. “Balloonfest 1986, the spectacle that became a debacle: Cleveland Remembers .” . http://www.cleveland.com/remembers/index.ssf/2011/08/balloonfest_1986_the_spectacle.html (accessed July 15, 2014).

132. Christmas in July: Night Court (December 17, 1987)

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Do stores even celebrate Christmas in July anymore? The last time I heard of a Christmas in July sale was nearly 10 years ago, and that was when the Casey car dealership in Newport News would decorate the lot in Christmas decorations in July. Christmas in July is such an antiquated term to me. 

Okay, I’m going to do Christmas in July for one night, because I love this episode of Night Court too much to wait until December. I loved Night Court growing up, I’m obsessed with it as an adult, I have hundreds of episodes on my DVR because Encore (yes, strangely enough the movie channel) shows it every night. 

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The episode starts with one of the rare times Harry actually uses his Mac in his office. Mac (the court clerk, not the computer) mentions how nasty the weather is getting outside, and Christine comes in wearing that same cotton ball Santa beard from the old 7up commercials

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Of course, Christine’s handmade present for Harry is phallic shaped! ‘Cuz she wants Harry, but of course she’s totally in denial that she wants Harry, but come on that knitted gavel cozy looks more like a Harry cozy. 

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Oh. That’s why Harry had his Mac out. It was a way to shut up Art the incompetent handyman. WHY IS IT SO COLD IN THE BUILDING? Art goes downstairs to “be gentle” to Bertha the furnace. 

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Bull’s excited that his mom is flying in from whatever planetary garbage boat she comes from. From what I read on Amazon reviews of the Season 8 DVD, we don’t see his mom until then. So right now, we have to imagine her looking something like the lady Ren & Stimpy saved from that burning building that one time:

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Bull’s mom

Harry: Your mom hauls … refuse?

Bull: I know it sounds glamourous, sir, but success hasn’t changed mom one bit! She still puts her pants on one leg at a time! … The good one first, then the peg. 

In the courtroom, its too hot now…Art played with Berta too much. 

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It’s Mac and Quan Le’s daughter’s first Christmas. Mac pulled all the stops at and shopped at Bloomingdales for her. He even bought her a train set. 

Mac: Quan Le! She’ll hear you! Stop saying t-r-a-i-n!

Bull: You bought her a trombone?

Quan Le: Don’t you think she’s a little young to appreciate one of those?

Harry: WOW! A DOODLETOWN FLYER WITH A CHUG CHUG SMOKESTACK!

Mac & Quan Le are my One True Pairing. 

imageRoz is going to Atlantic City to see men beat each other up and hear that noses go squish for her Christmas break. 

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"You enjoying that gavel cozy, sir?"

"As much as one human being possibly could!"

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Dan’s decided to go to the wonderful isle of Jamaica with some Floozy, and he’s decided to talk like the 7up Guy too. Ah-ha-ha. She sounds like this mean chick who lived on my hall junior year. 

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Dan’s so stupid though, he tells her to go to the airport with their tickets and luggage. Dan cozy

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There’s this really stupid plot line where Santa and Robert Pastorelli (aka, Eldin from Murphy Brown) are up in court because Santa wanted to pick up a hooker during his lunch break, and Santa and the pimp got in an altercation. I just like seeing Robert. Proceeding on. It’s really convenient that they have to sit around because Mac can’t pull up their records on the computer due to the winter storm outside. Bull can’t call the airport either to look for his peg leg mommy. 

Suddenly, Mac tells Harry the snow plow packed 10 ft of snow outside of the court’s doors. Wait. This happened back in the second season back in 1984 …. yeah because Bull braved the blizzard to try and get food. This time Bull is braving the blizzard to find his mom at the airport. As much as I like Night Court, sometimes they were really guilty of repeating story lines. 

Christine: Wait, even though its 150 degrees right now, we stand a good chance of losing our precious limbs to frostbite?image

See, Harry knew all along it was a Harry cozy.  “Not me!”

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So, the heat also gives out in the court building, but yet Art has some oil drums sitting around. Ha, Roz throws away Christine’s Christmas card. 

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"Mac, do you think the baby’s warm enough?"

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OH MY GOD, IT’S BULL. 

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So Art also had a Bull sized oil drum? Good thing Santa knows how to heat water up because he used to blow safes. 

Homeless Lady: How long has his brain been without oxygen?

Roz: I’d say since the early sixties.

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"Bull, are you okay?"

"How much is all of this gonna cost me?"

The firemen rescue the crew, and think the group is trying to make Bull Soup. 

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"God bless us all!" 

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"…what do you mean the tickets were cashed in by a Mrs. Fielding?"

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Bull’s mommy had to rescue a ship in the Persian Gulf, but she sent Bull some live bait to cheer him up—but then he spilled it in his pot. (Also, who is that other bailiff behind bull? He’s been in nearly every episode, but so far I’ve watched every episode from seasons 1-4 and I haven’t heard him speak yet.)

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Ohhh snap, Harry and Christine kiss at the end. 

131. Have We Become a Nation of Slobs? (Newsweek, February 20, 1995)

One of my birthday presents I bought myself was the entire bound edition of Newsweek from 1995 off eBay. I was taking the bound issues out of the diaper box they came in to air out because they had 19 years of book funk in them. I was casually flipping through each edition, and I landed on this and it cracked me up:

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mmm, Bill Clinton in those girly short shorts. 

Article: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7)

Adler, Jerry. “Have We Become a Nation of Slobs?.” Newsweek, February 20, 1995.